Seth Cohn's SPISPOPD FAQ 1.0

(Wer nicht weiss, worum es überhaupt geht, der sollte eventuell erst die Seite über die DooM-Cheatcodes lesen....)

What is SPISPOPD?  Well, to make a long story short, due to all the Doom hype on
the Usenet newsgroup, someone posted a suggestion
to id that the next game be named something less likely to be used as a subject
header (ala When is DOOM coming out? The DOOM beta is so cool, and the ever
popular DOOM FAQ) They suggested the unlikely name of Smashing Pumpkins into
Small Piles of Putrid Debris.  Of course, someone else immediately posted that
they wanted the beta of SPISPOPD and where was it?  I joined in the fun, along
with a long list of others and started to DESCRIBE this fictional game. We all
got into the fun, and it was in part a healthy humorous response to the
pressures of such a long wait for Doom.

                      T H E  " O F F I C I A L "
                                F A Q
                          Pre-Release v1.0
           Written by: Seth Cohn (
           Apologies to (among others): Hank Leukart
           "The second EVER FAQ release BEFORE the game release!"
"SPISPOPD, where the sanest place to be is the pumpkin patch 'round back..."

           "SPISPOPD will be to Doom what Doom was to Pong."
                       -- an anonymous representative from ego.


        This FAQ is to aid in informing the public about the upcoming
game: SPISPOPD, by ego Software.  In no way should this promote your
killing yourself, eating pumpkin pie, or squashing squash in any other
fashion. Additionally, Seth Cohn claims NO responsibility regarding ANY
illegal activity concerning this FAQ, or indirectly related to this FAQ.
The information contained in this FAQ only reflects ego Software indirectly,
and questioning ego Software regarding any information in this FAQ is
not recommended.


        All specific names included herein are trademarks and are so
acknowledged: ego Software, SPISPOPD, Id Software, Doom, Apogee, Wolfenstein
3-D, Creative Labs, Waveblaster, SoundBlaster, Gravis, Gravis UltraSound
(GUS), Gravis Gamepad, Forte, Roland, Roland Sound Canvas, Pro Audio Spectrum,
IBM, Microsoft, MS-DOS, Logitech, Cyberman, Atari, Jaguar, Spam, Spam, Spam,
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Eggs, and
Any trademarks not mentioned here are still hypothetically


This article is Copyright 1993 by Seth Cohn.  All rights reserved.
You are granted the following rights:

I.  To make copies of this work in original form, so long as
      (a) the copies are exact and complete;
      (b) the copies include the copyright notice and these paragraphs
          in their entirety;
      (c) the copies give obvious credit to the author, Seth Cohn;
      (d) the copies are in electronic form.
      (e) Seth recieves big $$$$$
II. To distribute this work, or copies made under the provisions
    above, so long as
      (a) this is the original work and not a derivative form;
      (b) you do not charge a fee for copying or for distribution;
      (c) you ensure that the distributed form includes the copyright
          notice, this paragraph, the disclaimer of warranty in
          their entirety and credit to the author;
      (d) the distributed form is not in an electronic magazine or
          within computer software (prior explicit permission maybe
          obtained from Seth Cohn);
      (e) the distributed form is the NEWEST version of the article;
      (f) the distributed form is electronic.
      (g) Seth recieves big $$$$$

        You may not distribute this work by any non-electronic media,
including but not limited to books, newsletters, magazines, manuals,
catalogs, and speech.  You may not distribute this work in
electronic magazines, or within computer software without prior written
explicit permission.  These rights are temporary and revocable upon
written, oral, or other notice by Seth Cohn. This copyright notice shall be
governed by the laws of the state of Insanity.
        If you would like additional rights beyond those granted above,
write to the author at "" on the Internet.


[1] Introduction
        [1-1] About the "Official" SPISPOPD FAQ
        [1-2] Getting the "Official" SPISPOPD FAQ
        [1-3] Adding to the FAQ
        [1-4] Acknowledgments
        [1-5] Accurate Information and Game Feature Removal
[2] What is SPISPOPD?
[3] Who is creating SPISPOPD?
[4] When is the release date of SPISPOPD?
[5] Where can I get SPISPOPD and related software?
        [5-1] Where can I get SPISPOPD?
        [5-2] Where can I get SPISPOPD hints?
        [5-3] Where can I get SPISPOPD screen shots?
        [5-4] Where can I get a working demo of SPISPOPD?
[6] SPISPOPD Marketing
        [6-1] How will SPISPOPD be marketed?
        [6-2] How much will SPISPOPD cost?
[7] What will I need to run SPISPOPD?
        [7-1] What is REQUIRED to run SPISPOPD?
        [7-2] What soundcards will SPISPOPD support?
                [7-2-1] Will SPISPOPD support the Gravis UltraSound?
        [7-3] What game controllers will SPISPOPD support?
                [7-3-1] Will SPISPOPD support the Logitech Cyberman?
[8] What makes SPISPOPD different from Wolfenstein 3-D or Doom?
[9] How will multi player action work in SPISPOPD?
        [9-1] What will the multi-player gameplay be like?
                [9-1-1] How will players communicate?
                [9-1-2] Can players exchange supplies?
                [9-1-3] What happens when a player dies?
        [9-2] What exactly is "DeathMatch" mode?
        [9-3] How will SPISPOPD work with networks?
        [9-4] How will SPISPOPD work with modems?
        [9-5] Can I play SPISPOPD over the Internet?
[10] What will SPISPOPD's music be like?
[11] How can I contact ego Software?
[12] Hints and Cheats
[13] Conclusion
[14] Revision History


[1] Introduction
        [1-1] About the "Official" SPISPOPD FAQ

This is it.

        [1-2] Getting the "Official" SPISPOPD FAQ

You got it.

        [1-3] Adding to the FAQ

Mail me at with addtions

        [1-4] Acknowledgments

Thanks to: (Ben Aaron Rudiak-Gould) (Robert J. Greanias) (Jim Little) (Daniel Kennett) (Jeff Epler) (Bill Tran) (Charles C. Lembke) (Mike Pollmann) (Papp Denis Richard) (Marty Price)
etxfln@eoh1c05 (Fredric Lonngren) (Jeff Miller) (Reinoud van Leeuwen)
jas13@po.CWRU.Edu (James A. Schulak) (Eli S Bingham) (John W. Cummings) (Jacob C Kesinger) (Joseph Dixon) (Niels Ull Jacobsen) (Arbi  Khodadadi) (Steve Clemetson) (Cheng-Jih  Chen) (Commander Spock) (Steve Clemetson) (Diane Winters) (William Lachance)
bergius@karhu.Helsinki.FI (K H Petteri Bergius) (dkrowlan) (Scott Hensley) (Ian Barnett) (Mark Shanks) (Tae-hyun B. Chung) (Bob Tausworthe) (Rob Jellinghaus)
"Adam K. Rixey" 

and especially (for not suing me ;)
Jay Wilbur 

       [1-5] Accurate Information

Accurate? Heheheh. Right.

[2] What is SPISPOPD?

It stands for Smashing Pumpkins into Small Piles of Putrid Debris

Features include:

16.7 million color palette on a 256k vga card using palette translation
Full surround sound using THX technology with native GUS, Soundblaster,
        and speaker sound.
3 player support over null modem or standard modem (300 baud to 28.8k)
Intelligent computer players using Turing AI logic
Moving walls, ceiling and chair you sit in (chair not included but plans are)
Gravis Gamepad support (Using 2 gamepads for 2 player action!)
God mode is real neat: All game factors including gravity can be changed!

[3] Who is creating SPISPOPD?

ego Software.

In fact, ego has stated that it will self-publish its
subsequent games, including _Garroting Innocent Gourds Artistically Near
The Illinois Capitol After Critically Reviewing Orwellian Novels Yesterday
Morning_ and the rumored _UG_.)

"SPISPOPD is not made by Apogee, and it's not made by Id.  It is made by Ego,
the software company for the future.  I wish you people would get it through
your thick heads that Apogee and Id have nothing to do with it.  We here at
Ego are the only true software gods."

Joe Special, Ego Mouthpiece

[4] When is the release date of SPISPOPD?

Feb. 29th 1994

SPISPOPD is gonna be released Feb 29! I just got email about it and
basically, the unfortunate setback was solved (the proper application of
a flame thrower can work wonders...) and things are back on track again!

(Arbi  Khodadadi) writes:
As one of the posts in this group stated, SPISPOD is being delayed till
Dec 30 1994. I'm sorry to say I have confirmed this. Yesterday I got E-mail
from one of the developers and it went like this:
>:>As you know, the most revolutionary aspect of SPSPOPD is its extensive use
>:>of digitized actors. As you surly know, we decided to go all out and hire
>:>Jean Claud Van Damme for the digitized scenes. Well, we were shooting one
>:>of the scenes for the infamous Level 42 Pumpkin stage. It seems Jean Claud
>:>kicked one of the stunt pumpkins really hard, and it went blind in the
>:>right eye. Now it's suing him for damages. The lengthy litigation is what
>:>is interferring with our finishing the game.

As I've already pointed out, THIS Rumor is untrue.  Arbi,
your mail must be slow, since yesterday I got email stating
that the proper application of a flame thrower has put the
game back on track.  What I didn't say - and since you've given away
details, I will too.. DO you really think that any company who could
think of a game like SPISPOPD would really let a little ole suing pumpkin
stop them?  NAH! They had the flame thrower around, and decided that it's
Pumpkin Cooking Time!  Course, Jean Claude was hurt, but hey, they'd
already finished 90% of his scenes....

[5] Where can I get SPISPOPD and related software?

        [5-1] Where can I get SPISPOPD?

Betas are floating around all over.
each is 1.44 megs.

The beta crashes on anything less then a double CPU 486 running Windows 4
and 32meg ram for right now, since it's using a lot of overhead and buggy

ego has admitted that the current beta is buggy, but since they want as much
good PR as possible, they will allow people to grab this for the next 2 days
only.  After that, the beta is illegal.  Grab it now!
I understand that Compu$erve has even made it a half price download for the
next 2 days.

        [5-2] Where can I get SPISPOPD hints?

Right Here.  Section 12.

        [5-3] Where can I get SPISPOPD screen shots?

Sorry, anyone who has taken screen shots ends up blind.  They also for some
reason grow hair on their palms.

        [5-4] Where can I get a working demo of SPISPOPD?

NO demo.  Sorry.  Beta only.  VHS on demand.

[6] SPISPOPD Marketing

        [6-1] How will SPISPOPD be marketed?

Using Capitalism.  Communism is dead. Duh.

        [6-2] How much will SPISPOPD cost?

For $66.66, you will receive the entire 112,749 levels,
a pumpkin aroma scratch 'n sniff booklet, holographic
manual, and a large packet of "Big Max" pumpkin seeds.

Send your money immediately, and receive a surprise!

[7] What will I need to run SPISPOPD?

        [7-1] What is REQUIRED to run SPISPOPD?

It is the butt kicking-est game ever invented, runs on any machine
(from a C64 through a Cray 2) and allows an infinite number of simultaneous

With it's open architecture and infinitely flexible I/O,
ANYONE can play SPISPOPD, from the HP-41 owner to those
tapping into the awesome power of Cheyenne Mountain's

"Course, that's the TI-85 calculator port, so I can't comment on anything
else (but I hear the abacus version is way cool)." - Beta tester

Final PC specs call for it to run on a 8086 with at least 10 meg harddrive
and EGA graphics.

You need a joystick to play it, and it is a big plus if you have a good
sound card, because the sound track is AWESOME!

        [7-2] What soundcards will SPISPOPD support?

Anything that hooks up to a speaker!

        [7-2-1] Will SPISPOPD support the Gravis UltraSound?


        [7-3] What game controllers will SPISPOPD support?

Joystick, mouse, gamepad, and anything else they can find to play with.

        [7-3-1] Will SPISPOPD support the Logitech Cyberman?

Yes, and ego is already taking that to the next level.  Logitech's new
Man will hopefully be released about the same time as SPISPOPD.  Using
complicated cloning technology, you are able to have, in your very own
home, a real live human being that connects to any standard mouse port.
SPISPOPD will send signals to your Man, instructing him to pummel in the
very part of your body that your computerized counterpart takes damage.
You can customize the Man to perfectly fit your own pain threshold, so
he may just nudge you gently or he can even be set to kill you should
you lose the game.  Given the open nature of both SPISPOPD and Man,
expect several add-ons, such as weapons you can attach to the Man that
he will use against you, and perhaps even multiple Men connected to the
same port to attack you from all directions.  Rumours are that
Logitech's genetic engineering department is planning on creating
hell-hounds, demons, robots, and other nasties to better match varius
gaming implementations.

[8] What makes SPISPOPD different from Wolfenstein 3-D or Doom?

It will feature an open ended architecture, so that
users can modify the ray-traced animation to look like polygon filled

"I heard that instead of having actual ray-traced pumpkins, they're going to
rewrite the engine to use polygons due to size considerations (and besides,
life-like ray-traced pumpkins would add nothing to the game)" - Beta Tester

The pumpkins look real, even when exploded
The dogs seems to move like real dogs
The room with the snake is WAY harder then any old Wolf3D one.
The Weaponry is pretty neat, especially the megawatt laser.

"The dogs don't really move at all. They are on invisible 4-way tracks
that move the static dogs.
 Due to memory considerations, it is now a kilowatt laser.
 Sorry. Pumpkins now just ooze down into a gooey, puddled mess." Beta Tester

"The realistic weather mode is amazing.  My doctor says it's only a mild case
of frostbite.  I should be back at it in a couple days." - Beta Tester

"I heard that the REEEALLLLYYY cooooool guys at ego put in female characters
not so long ago. However they are still being criticized due to the fact
that there aren't characters that represent every single racial/religeous
group. In addition, ego has been slamed by a feminist group because the
female character's body is too "perfect" " - Beta tester

">Pumpkin carving with chainsaw: out. Apparently it took just too much
>                                    rendering to allow incidental carving
>                                    marks to appear on pumpkins.
It's BACK! They figured out that Pumpkins can be modelled using 1/3 less
data by using fractals. So it's BACK!
>pumpkin shell jail: OUT! That's right. It was one of the best features too!
>                         You will no longer be able to lock your
>                         player-friends in a pumpkin shell and keep them
>                         very well. (Oh well).
Still out, but my source says that the public outcry might make a
difference.  So if you want Shell Jail, email anyone who you think
has some say!
>Capture the Pumpkin: OUT! It was decided that this could be done by one
>                          of the many whizzbang programmers out there as
>                          an SPISPOPD add-on.
True, but I hear that this will be an open system, so adding it back is
almost trivial.  So will getting 20 players at once over the net via
STMP... " - Beta Tester

16.7 million shades means the best oranges are all there!

"I used to like the awesome speech done by Patrick Stewart as
the evil exploding pumpkin boss on level 42.  "Aiiiiiiii!"  Wow.  But
as I understand it, they decided to pull the speech out in gamma
version.  Not only that, they are going to sell Speech Pack separately
for $12.99.  Ugh.  Time to write a hate letter." - Beta tester

"Of course, the best part about SPISPOPD is its open nature.  Everyone on
the Net has participated equally in writing the code, composing the music,
and drawing the graphics.  Anyone can add any feature at will.  And the
general public knows as much about the specs and file formats as ego does."

"Just a thought, but considering the open nature of the game, SPISPOPD
will give a new meaning to the term 'pumpkin patch'" - Beta tester

"I love it! Why? Because other games, like XWing, Wolf3D, DOT, etc., can be
used as addon modules, giving you lots of great new levels to explore and
pumpkins to terminate.
I also like that guy in the pumpkin patch who keeps drooling on his foot."

"To make the game virtual reality, it will come with these
easy-to-use tools and instructions for playing the
game in VIRTUAL REALITY.  Basically you've got to buy a CyberMan 2000
(less than $2000 dont worry), take your monitor and strap it on to
your face.  Just like being there!  Though if you don't use it properly you
may fall to the ground." - Beta tester

"It uses a _new_ form of fractal compressed
computing to speed up processor time so it can perform Real-time
molecular level ray-tracing for all objects." Beta Tester

"I've heard that it will have gourand shading for all objects, as
well as support for two cyberman units to operate simultaneously.
Also, I'd like to see an OS/2 specific version - I feel this would only
increase playability, especially on the CD-ROM version.
Finally, as far as add-on modules go, you can import your cities from
SimCity 2000, your Hero from Champions, and your Mech from Mechwarrior II
- see, support for SPISPOPD is what is delaying all the above titles,
but they aren't admitting to it so as not to get hopes up TOO high."

But this developer, who shall remain anonymous, went on to say:
>:>After rewriting the graphics engine four times over for size and speed, we
>:>found some features unfeasible for ANY system. The most apparent is that
>:>the game no longer supports photo cds. When you throw pumpkins into the
>:>walls, they won't show photo cd pictures anymore.

How is the plotline?  Incredible!  With SPISPOPD, you get great squash
squashing action AND a plot worthy of a bestseller novel unto itself...  Not
to give anything away, but the hunchbacked pumpkin grower you meet after
chapter 3 turns out to be more than meets the eye ;)  (I talked to the design
team, and they mentioned that the multiple plot threads grow exponentially as
you play the game, and that the imbedded AI actually creates a plot as
you play, depicting it on the screen for the player to experience!!!  And at
the final chapter all the plotlines get wrapped up in one awesome pumpkin'
stomping finale!!!

Official weapon's list for SPISPOPD:

1.) Hoe
2.) Shovel
3.) Chainsaw
4.) Cap gun
5.) BFH 9000

[9] How will multi player action work in SPISPOPD?

        [9-1] What will the multi-player gameplay be like?

                [9-1-1] How will players communicate?

Sign Language.

                [9-1-2] Can players exchange supplies?

No. One man's meat is another man's poison.

                [9-1-3] What happens when a player dies?

Well, if they have been a good player, they go to Valhalla.  If not, the
great pumpkin eats them.

        [9-2] What exactly is "DeathMatch" mode?

I don't have any idea.

        [9-3] How will SPISPOPD work with networks?


        [9-4] How will SPISPOPD work with modems?


        [9-5] Can I play SPISPOPD over the Internet?

Yes, but it's Buggy.
There is a bug in the US Internet SPISPOD Server. When you are playing on
this server you'll have to aim your lasergun slighltly LEFT of the mirror
above the last monster (the one you'll meet when you wear the jet pack).

The only way I finished it was to turn off the VR-helmet and use my
intuition. (luckily I could already dream this level).

May the force be with you! (wait until level 67, there you REALLY can't do
without it!)

[10] What will SPISPOPD's music be like?

You will also be able to program the general midi support to be
simple beeps and chirps from the PC speaker.
As a side note, the promised Real-Life-Sound, for that extra "you are THERE"
effect as pumpkin innards splatter your coveralls, was taken out because
"it would be REALLY neat, but it's just not practical because, er, well,
ummm, yknow.."

[11] How can I contact ego Software?

They hate email.  Try posting, and I'm sure they send you an answer.

[12] Hints
Hint for good play: Run a clean system with Windows 4 running in real mode.
Use a good set of speakers for sound, and wired up the chair as directed
in the instruction.  WAY cool!

HEY!! Don't forget to mention the secret pumpkin level where
it warps you from Level one (Entering the pumpkin patch) to level
1001 where you fight the evil Mr. Jack Pumpkin (provided
you find the experimental XYZ-11235 Mega Gourd Crusher (and
optional can opener))

How do you get past the pumpkin demon at the end of level 3? I've tried
using the grenade launcher, but with no effect. How can a pumpkin carry
and use two chain guns, anyway?
   Use a match and light the fuse on the dynamite.

Here is a hint, on the fourth level, when that horrible giant pumkin
comes at you, dodge to left, head towards the stairs.  The pumpkin
should be following you by now.  Quickly run up the stairs and hide in
the alcove off to the left at the top.  The pumpkin will run right past
you, and well its STOMPIN-TIME!!!!

Latest Rumor I heard: Level 10038 - The Borg!

Help with level 43
I was just wondering if anyone has made it past this level.  I have
gotten most of the keys, and the orbs but I just can't seem to make
the '?' talk to me.  Any replies greatly appreciated.
   To get past this level, you must remove something _very personal_ from
the gnome...

This game sux!  All k001 d00dz around the school played
the pirated copy with me, and they all finished it in one hour!  What
a crappy game, ego!
   WRONG!  You missed the secret elevator on level 1!

Anyway, can someone tell me what the fifth word on page 15
of the manual is?  I need to know it in order to get to the endgame
    Does the word piracy mean anything to you?  How about the word lavender?
    Could anyone tell me the correct spelling of pnuemonia?
    Thanks in advance.

Well of course the boss on the finale level was the absolute best part,
tho' I had to have 2 new 4M simms FedExed overnight so I could finish
it, and even so I had to reboot my system 17 times before I could get
past the evil gramma guarding the elevator and the explosions at the end
blew out both my what a cool game!

[13] Conclusion - Quotes!

"SPISPOPD: The game to end all games.  No, seriously."
                                        -- an anonymous ego rep.

", we're not actually publishing SPISPOPD, but we may use the engine
in a future title of our own." -- an anonymous Apogee rep.

SPISPOPD Rules!  The best way to kill pumpkins short of pumpkin pie! - Seth

Really quick, make-a-buck cheesewhiz!- Diane Winters

Can I vote for SPISPOPD as best game of '94 yet? Rob Jellinghaus

SPISPOPD - it's not just a game, it's what you do for a life! (DOOM owner)

All in all though, it was a fantasic game. I've never seen the color orange
so pure.... so pure. - Bob Tausworthe

"With SPISPOPD, you can have your pumpkin pie, and eat it too!!
My head is spinning from motion sickness and my arms feel worn out,
as if I had actually BEEN there smashing endless hordes of lifeless gourds!!!"
                           ---Commander Spock

"I saw the stuff in c.s.i.p.g.a but did not dive into it.  I have
enough trouble keeping up with the legit questions about DOOM and
getting home to my wife and kids at a reasonable hour."
                                         ------ Jay Wilbur, id Software

[14] Revision History

Perfect the first time.

Any other questions??

Can we like, buy nuclear missiles in thegame, then like ride them through
the dungeon - maybe pick up Elvis along the way.  Then kinda have him
kidnapped by aliens from Fruloz, but we catch up to them, and feel bored
and so we hack up Elvis with our ChainSaw.  Then we see another player
COOL.  So we can, like shoot our friends, and throw pieces of Elvis
at him.  Then the nuclear missile hits something and blows up and we see
these cool graphics and then we get to play again?  Can we do this?


Extra EXTRA! - Easter Ernie!
I understand the Apogee rep already
is waiting with baited breath to use the engine for Easter Ernie.
Also, an anonymous source has confirmed that Easter Ernie will be out in late
May 94 and right after that Birthday Bert in late June 94.

"I heard the beta for Easter Ernie wil be available during Lent. Is this true?
 Will this game be as hard-boiled as they are saying? Will I be able to choose
 if I am a bunny or a chicken? Will it have a chair? Help! I'm going to crack
 if I don't get some info on EE. Release date, screen shots, anything!
 There must be a good egg out there who can give me some news!?"

"If Cosmo had a twin brother seperated at birth, it would have to be
Birthday Bert! He is the biggest dork of all time and the savior of
Birthday's everywhere! Barney(licensed from PBS) has been kidnapped,
along with all his birthday gear! Can you save him? Play BirthDay Bert and
find out!"

S    P  P  II  S    P  P O  O P  P D  D | Seth Cohn
   S P     II     S P    O  O P    D  D | FAQ 1.1 coming soon! SPISPOPD Feb 29!
SSSS P    IIII SSSS P    OOOO P    DDD  | Easter Ernie May 94! WAY Cool!

Seth Cohn -     Warning - I use CAPS to emphasize, not to yell   |If you read
email preferred         - I consider spelling errors and grammar |RUOW, Honk!
Net Junkie since 89       to be secondary to the meaning itself  |Orange Rainbow
[Space for rent]        - I take unpopular positions & get flamed|Spirits R #1!

SSSS PPPP OOOO PPPP DDD | Official SPISPOPD FAQ Author S P P II S P P O O P P D D | Seth Cohn SSSS PPPP II SSSS PPPP O O PPPP D D | S P II S P O O P D D | FAQ 1.1 coming soon! SPISPOPD Feb 29! SSSS P IIII SSSS P OOOO P DDD | Easter Ernie May 94! WAY Cool! -- Seth Cohn - Warning - I use CAPS to emphasize, not to yell |If you read email preferred - I consider spelling errors and grammar |RUOW, Honk! Net Junkie since 89 to be secondary to the meaning itself |Orange Rainbow [Space for rent] - I take unpopular positions & get flamed|Spirits R #1!